Back To My License Issue

At this point I'm speechless - here's my predicament:

• My license is expired and can't be renewed because PA wants me to server a 90 day suspension related to an underage drinking citation from 1993 (see the previous posting)
• My truck's tags are expired and the title is still in my ex-wife's name (which is odd, because she never made a single payment - why did I get married again?)

Ok, so I finally get my ex-wife to transfer the title to the truck. I go and stand in line for eons at a couple titling agencies that were apparently not the right ones and finally reach the correct destination. The lady tells me that she can't accept my license as ID because it's 6 days expired. Not happy at this point.

Go next door to the BMV and wait half an hour there to be told my license was blocked and can't be renewed (again, see previous post). Really not happy now.

So I figure to get around this I'll just get a state ID - but aha! In order to get a state ID they have to cancel your driver's license - meaning you have to retake all the tests again. At this point I'm pissed.

Now I think to myself - "Self, why don't you just transfer the title to your loving girlfriend and she can get the tags?". Sounds good - except I've already filled out all of my info on the back. In order to do this I'll need to get another duplicate title - by asking my ex to do it again, which I definitely didn't want to do.

I call the ex, who sounds thrilled to hear from me (she's not happy with her $1,400 a month?), and she says she can't get to the BMV to do it because her work schedule is now 8-4. I suppose it's a valid argument, but East Palestine isn't a metropolis - she could make it there if she wanted to. At this point I'm running out of options and I'm very unhappy.

My last recourse is applying for the tags online. But alas! Surprisingly enough there's yet another issue... The car is titled to the address of the now foreclosed upon family dwelling and I'm almost positive that is where the tags will be sent. I suppose I'll give it a shot and see what happens...

Now tell me - have you or anyone you even know of EVER had this kind of thing happen? I'm betting not - but this kind of stuff happens to me constantly. I love me some me ;)